Last couple of days I felt quite manic and stressed. A weird underlying feeling like I was about to give a speech. Luckily this time I know that it's just my version of the baby blues. Although yesterday that insight still didn't stop me from shouting at everyone then hating myself for "ruining everything" then sobbing. So pretty typical post-natal stuff really! Feeling much better today. Elsie is spending the morning with aunty Donna and I've had my first proper sleep. Yay! Perspective is a wonderful thing! Physically I'm still feeling more sore and achey every day. Which surprises me. It was good to hear that Francine found a similar thing. Combination of achey muscles everywhere and the obvious! But there are also lots of bits that are just returning to normal so much more quickly than after the Caesar which is wonderful!
Baby is really really good. Milk has all come in and feeding going well. However, latching is taking a lot of wrangling each time (can take us 30-40mins to get latched) and she needs to generally give feeding some more welly! She isn't nearly as 'hangry' as Else was! I've had to start pumping a couple of times a day just to prevent engorgement etc. Whereas Else would feed vigorously for 10mins then become sleep drunk and unrousable this little one will feed casually for 10mins then take a break, have a burp, hang out, but stay quite alert throughout. She'll do that a few times so she's getting a very relaxed 30-40min feed that takes 1-2 hours. But it's great because we're all getting lots of wonderful awake alert time with her.
Elsie is a great older sister. She is still excited by the baby and seems genuinely pleased that she's still there each morning. She always takes baby a toy when she cries! Both myself and Else find it hard as feeds are taking so long and it's hard to be home with Else but not available to her. I feel like I'm just stuck on the sofa ignoring her. So she has gone off me a bit. Yesterday she was quite challenging - demonstrating some textbook whining and tantrums and she bit me during story time! But she said "sorry" and we had a nice cuddle afterwards. I think it's to be expected and Joel and I are going to try and make sure that she is out of the flat doing exciting things for the mornings so she doesn't feel so frustrated by her boring mum. But on the whole I am staggered and really impressed by how well Else is adjusting and how kind and loving she is toward her sister (I didn't expect that at Else's age) and as feeding becomes more efficient and I get less sore we'll be rocking and rolling me thinks.
Is absorbing a lot of moods from Else and myself! He's going to need a holiday after this! But he's being calm and wonderful as always xx
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